Breathing Smoke and Future Figs

So, hopefully the third time will indeed be the charm. I wrote a whole expose on the wackness of time's rapid passage while Mahdis was here, and her laptop ate it. That makes three times Ive sworn I would write in word first and then transfer it. Onward and upward as I always say. Everyone knows time goes fast anyway, who needs to hear me go on about it, you could be out doing something instead of reading me lament how little time we have to go out and do something. That's the author's version of sour grapes. It was really nice to spend time with Mahdis and her fam. It gave me the inspiration to write about how quickly and surreptitiously time passes, I had that tight chest feeling that you get when you love someone or some moment so much that it makes you think about how soon it will be over, or different or new. I love changes, I do, but occasionally I wish I could tap out and freeze time like Sabrina the Teenage witch...just walk around and stare at how ever everything was at that exact second. Memorize it, or enjoy it more, or longer. Something. I know I have to start coming to terms with us as freestanding adults, so that someday in the far future I can imagine us losing our parents but it makes me feel like my heart is going to explode. I love my friends' families so dearly that it will be like losing my parents over and over again. The other night I went to play candyland with my neice Parker who turned five this August. After she went to bed, I looked at the photos of her grandmother, Hardy, Carrie and Lindsey's mom who in her funky, non parental way, helped make all of us who we are now, holding her as an infant before she got sick. It was three years ago that she died and I cried like it was yesterday. I love death dearly for being part of this beautiful, hilarious cycle, and I turn my own over in my head like a crystal. But it isnt the kind of time freeze that I want for the people I love. I want to freeze when they are here, not when theyre not. Raspberry to me! Thbbtht. Ive got no choice. Again, onward and upward. Maybe I need to invest in a couple Ram Dass books on tape...
Anyway, I just read over some older entires and realized there are a few key updates that I never posted. FIrst of all, the figs that I saw that day, the tiny sour ones? Apparantly, those are the figs of the future! The tree grows two years worth of fruit and only half ripens, the other half the next year. Stellar. I cant beleive they just stay on there all winter like that. God is good all the time, all the time God is good. Secondly Ruby "found out" that Nathan has been with his braider friend all this time. I could have a heart attack and die from not suprise. She and the other white girl did the ol' meet up and suprise number (which, dear reader, can really backfire on you, let me tell it...thats a story for another day...)and she was just broken hearted. Apparantly nathan told the other girl he didnt want to see her anymore when Ruby was there, but Jamaa said his hair is still crisp all the time so you do the math. Long story short the poor sucker hasnt leave him. Blinded. When she told me about it, and looked at me like can you beleive he would do something like that? I told her she already knew, and whatever grief she felt was the sadness you feel when you deceive yourself. She really couldnt argue with me. All people know all things, there are very few times, at least in my experience, where what materializes is a real suprise. If youre truly paying attention, the eventuality of most situations is laid plain from the beginning. Ok. So, I spent Tuesday and Friday at Danyale LaShawn salon. It was really great. I am learning a tremendous amount, from watching and jsut from being in the mix. Its very laid back, everyone handles their business in their way and is concious of the fact that they got into this biz because they didnt want someone breathing down their neck about where when and how. They are all amazingly accomplished stylists and thats what they get paid for. Much different from the uptight, client kowtow type situation at most upscale white salons. Its refreshing as hell. Danyale let me do her hair on friday. She took her braids out and had this bomb curly afro going. IT looked AMAZINGLY good, but one night on it and it would have been flat and crunched. I really wanted to practice doing twists with a comb so she let me wash her hair and twist it. I was nervous as I dont know what, and the bottom ones SUCKED. It took me a couple of rows to get the hand coordination down. I got a lot better the longer I did it. I had to leave her with a lil frohawk cause she had to work on a client but I think the next time I do it, especially if the person has shorter hair, Ill feel a lot more confident. I felt sick to my stomach for hours after leaving on friday. I think it was from breathing in all the oil smoke from the flatirons in that small space. I went to the gym in hopes that some serious breathing would help me work it out, not so much. Thought I was gonna hurl on 23rd and union. I wouldnt be the first, that's for damn sure. Ill be there two days next week too and then school starts again. The injustice. I've hardly begun to relax.