Graduation Speakers and the Homestretch

This was my last official week of cosmetology school. Ironically enough, i did very little hair. Tuesday was our finals, written and practical (i passed with a 90% average, thank you very much) and Wednesday was our graduation. Wed I did Abena's hair, bleached the tips and toned it with a bright copper orange so when she does her little mini banana peel flips (check out a black hair mag if you dont know what i mean) the ends are orange. She was such an armchair stylist the whole time, so hilarious, telling me I was doing every thing wrong, putting on too much, then not enough, that I was going to make her hair fall out. I said Id be really sad if her hair fell out, she said "Yeah, youd be saddend to a pulp." It looked great though, her skin has a lot of rich orangy tones, a very warm complexion. THe rest of wed we didnt do jack squat. We just all spent the day together, went and ate falafel at the "medeterranean" restaurant up the street (medeterranean must be a user friendly word for arab, those guys are as arab as the house of sa'ud.) It was fun. We never all just get to chill together. We reminisced about how far weve come. how few of us are left, and how punishing first quarter was with us all in the back classroom. Nicola is the only one of us who doesnt have any hours to make up, so we will all be here a little longer but most of us will be in different Salons a lot of the time.
Thursday I did my perm makeup test from last quarter. I did a classic spiral wrap on carrie's hair. I passed. It looked fine. big waves. who cares, i passed, her hair didnt fall out. It did however smell strongly of eggs until she febrezed it. good grief, i hate perms. it may be my last. The graduation was predictably hilarious. We went Tuesday we all had to go to SVI and do a graduation rehearsal which was such a dumb waste of time. We all lined up in the hallways of SVI with a sign saying our department and filed into the room where we sat down and mock received our diplomas then got a little ticket which allowed us access to the pizza party (Gather 'round the Good stuff? How is that for a slogan? I think its pizza hut. And its so bland and so gross) downstairs. I dont think you really have to rehearse walking in a line and sitting in a chair then standing up, walking in a circle and sitting down in the same chair. Upshot? Graduation pictures baby!! I did it up, scaring my class and possibly others who may have thought that I always look like that. Huge Utah claw bangs with the rounded side outcroppings. Classic 80's makeup. WHat i didnt know but made the whole picture even more fantastically anachronistic is that they take your picture on a WHITE background, sitting next to a WHITE pillar, holding your corny diploma holder which says seattle vocational institute. life is so rich. I made the guy take a whole bunch of shots but decided to just keep one since you always like one more than the other anyway and wish you had more of that other one than this one...might as well head that off at the pass. Tried to take one winking, but kept looking like I had a terrible palsy.
SO the actual graduation was wed night. My long suffering family ( Mom,Ariel, Carrie & Drew and Parker, who managed to sit quietly the whole time) were there early to get a seat in the gym before it packed out. Which didnt happen. Sparsely attended. We all filed in to that traditional graduation song which sounds like music from the third reich soundtrack. THen we were treated to the first of far too many numbers by the SCCC jazz band. Now, the band itself was lackluster. But it could have been masked by some amazing singing. Unfortunately, they chose to front the band a charmless caucasian woman who sounded like an american idol reject and some asian woman who im sure they picked up at a vietnamese karaoke night at Moonlight Cafe. Her accent was strong (abena referred to it as Englaos), but her voice wasnt. It was warbly, and ill suited to the R&B classics they had chosen. Now, why you would put two women of non african ancestry, neither of whom were even performance ready outside of their music class final, in front of a large crowd of black women AND their families who make up the bulk of the reigons baptist and AME churches, is a complete mystery to me. It was so embarrasing. I was sitting between Abena and this girl from the medical assisting program named lisa and in front and behind me were two other sisters from the office professional program. All around me were comments like "girl you better go up there and take that mic!" "Are you for real?" "No they didnt!" and just simply "uhm uhm uhm." I reiterate, so embarrasing.The closing number was the icing on the cake. The SVI theme song. It was a reworded version of the R Kelly song "I believe I can fly," Changed to "I believe in SVI."
"I believe I'll make more, see me walking through that corporate door."
Really, thats what it was. The lyrics were printed in the back of the program so myself and all the women sitting around me started singing along loudly to cover up the Englaos version. Ms V later told me that she sang it last year. I was blown away. We had two student speakers, one woman from the dental hygenist program I think , and a man from the multiple trades program. The man was tall, light skinned and wore reflective shades the whole time. He spoke loudly and with feeling about his love for SVI and the instructors there and how we all need to represent SVI wherever we go in our careers. The girl was short, plump, darkskinned and spoke tearfully about her triumphs and testified (complete with pentecostal dance interlude) about the transformative power of education and, of course, the lord jesus christ. I couldnt tell you a damn thing the emcee said because she was the worst public speaker Ive ever heard. no diction, no intonation and no concept of how to speak into a mic. this is the 15th year she has hosted the graduation. nuff sed. Finally, and most annoying, the featured speaker was kenneth alhadeff. Wealthy Sephardic jew, and member of one of Seattle's most beneficent philanthropic Hebraic families. Through the Kenneth and Marlene Alhadeff fund, he donates money to SVI for special stuff like thanksgiving and christmas baskets and food for graduations and such things. Oh, the costco muffins! Those are an Alhadeff sponsored treat. Dont get me wrong, they do a tremendous amount for seattle communities. and they dont have to, its great. But as far as listening to his sermon style, purposefully inspirational speech on what "we've" over come to get this far, and how for many of "us" this is the culmination of our academic lives, how "we" had children early and fought with drugs and alcohol, "we" (he kept using we and us, so condescending! was he a teen parent?!?!) had to take the bus to school, and all manner of injustices that he assumed that WE as the predominantly "minority" based SVI student body had had to do to get this far. Maybe he had some trials and tribulations in his life that I dont know about, they didnt tell us anything about him or his work save that he siphons off some cash our way every now and again. He was an empassioned speaker, I'll give him that. But there is nothing inspirational or motivational, in and of itself, about a speaker. What inspires is that person's life, their experiences, their inspiration and personal gains and losses. Being born with a silver spoon in ones mouth inspires little other than envy and disdain. Is Ted Kennedy inspirational? Paris Hilton? Portia Di Rossi? No, they're just wealthy. Money can motivate, mind you, but its the story and the work and the human interest behind the money that does the real inspiring. For example, my dad forwarded me an incredible speech for the same sort of occasion (but at a much more spendy and well reputed school Im sure) by Steve Jobs, the founder of Macintosh. Now he too has more money than god, and everyone knows it, but thats not the point. He made the money and in a way that everyone can relate to. Through challenges, self doubt, a path less travelled, and with real intelligence and perseverance. He didnt read a novella about the trials of innercity life and then come in and try to identify with his audience. You dont have to be just like someone, or even know exactly who they are or what theyve gone through to inspire them, in fact what is most moving is the universalities of human evolution among very disparate experiences. Anyway. Then it was over, and we went over to gabe's house for some Trader Joes apps and vino. it was a lovely evening.
Friday we cleaned the school and got out early. I had to go do Trey's hair which he had oh-so-helpfully had his girlfriend take out of the months old braids he had in and shampoo. Without combing it out first. Big mistake, Huge. Then he walked her to her car and stood in the sun letting it dry. It was huge matted locks in the span of ten minutes. I coulda killed him. It took me an hour to comb them out. I was there from 3:30 to 8 but his braids looked damn good. Ive gotten a lot better. A lot tighter too, he had to put a phone call on hold to ask if I had some problem with him that I was taking out on his scalp. Hilarious. I think it was after braiding that guys hair that was really short that I realized my tension in the gripping hand was slack and that if i kept up the grip the braid looked better and more even, which makes for more ouch in the process. Sorry homeslice, its the price we pay for beauty. Even Men.
Next week i have tues and weds off and then back in on thu and fri to start knockin out those makeup hours. I have to institute some real discipline if I want to be done by the second week of July, which I do. Now I dont get marked down if Im not there on time, its just me getting me threre, which considering the impoverished state of my life at this point will be trying. I havent excercised outside of dance for MONTHS, my car looks like a transient has been taking refuge in the backseat, I havent done laundry in a virtual month of sundays, and ive been eating horribly, like the microwave outmoded the stove. I havent cooked at home since I made dinner for Josh Rosenstein, the only really jewish person ive ever tried to date. We got along great and couldnt stand each other. Darn you internalized self hatred! Itll sabotage you everytime.
That was before passover, probably in early april. Last week I was in such a rush with nothing for lunch that I actually ate some pretzels that had fallen on the floor of my car!! Not so bad you say? WRONG! At this point youd be better off eating an elephant ear that you dropped walking past the 4H barn at the Puyallup fair. I have GOT to get myself together. Starting now!