The humbling passage of time

Its 730. I woke up at 5, its already been two and a half hours that I have been lying in bed, with an eye mask on, waiting for the red wine hammer to wear off. Where has the time gone? I just read my last blog entry, it was one year and one month ago, almost to the day. Its still incredibly windy in February and March, and crappy. Where has the time gone? I started this blog in 2004, its 2010. Seriously folks, WHERE HAS THE TIME GONE?
And you ask yourselves, what have I been DOING? What do I have to show for this TIME thats GONE? Have I learned how to knit? How about throw a decent pot? Speak Farsi? Tie complicated sailing inspired knots? Maybe turn wood on a lathe? No. Havent done any of that. Of late, I have done a tremendous amount of hair, which is both fun and profitable, so thats good. Ive planned our wedding, which is definitely not profitable but will hopefully turn out to be fun. But really, what is taking up that extra time that I feel I should be spending doing something that people can talk about wistfully at my funeral.
One particular thing does spring to mind. Here we go; All grown ups talk about how they dont have time to see their friends anymore. No matter how close you live or how much you love these individuals, you just dont seem to be able to spend the kind of QT together that you would like to, or in fact that you used to be able to.
And what is it that is taking up that time? When we were young, we had school, sports (hypothetically,) afterschool classes, we slept more, yet we had time to make ENDLESS phone calls and hang out with friends constantly. What is the time sump? Work? No. Drinking? No. Cant do much of that anymore. Facebook? Maybe partially, but there is some mysterious bermuda triangle of time thats sucked away from socializing and keeping up the beloved bonds of friendship and Im going to tell you what it is.
Dental Hygiene.
As you get older, you have to spend so much (excuse my french) fucking time brushing your teeth and maintaining even semi-healthy gums, that you dont have time to call your friends. Wondering why you and sally arent close anymore? Buy a water pik recently? Cant seem to make it to after work drinks or weeknight dinner parties? Have you switched to a natural non flouridated toothpaste in the last couple years? Found yourself adding a couple extra tricks to your morning and evening mouth maintenance routine?
I HAVE! For gods sake. I spend more goddamn time brushing my teeth these days than even last year I would have thought humanly possible. Between my new holistic dentist, who has me on the watchful prowl for spirochetes below the gumline (which can apparently cause any and EVERY thing, from gingivitis to heart disease, Google it) to frighteningly visible gum recession and panicking about mercury based fillings, Ive got my hands full! Its a freaking time sump!
Now, twice a day, I have to first floss, then irrigate my periodontal pockets (which were registering unacceptably high numbers,) then I brush with this herbal powder that looks like youre scrubbing your mouth out with henna and coffee grounds, followed by an herbal rinse for a 30 second count. All this to eradicate the bacteria that you (and I do mean YOU) probably have comfortably multiplying below your gumline. THere are three phases of different powders and accompanying rinses, each phase is two weeks, then you start again, until all are used up. And its a lot to use up. And your breath smells like wood.
These may be good habits, but theyre not something youll be remembered for.
Im telling you. Getting older and trying not to fall apart from the teeth down is a full time job. Disconnect your phone and start brushing (gently, and at the right angle.)