गो वेयर थे विंड तकेस यू!

Ugh. I havent written forever. Its February. It should be January, because January didnt last long enough. Its windy as hell, and if hell is truly made up of the worst elements of earth than it should be very, very windy. Wind is by far the worst weather element. Dangerous, scary sounding, phenomenally uncomfortable, can be present at any temp and time of year, invisible AND frightening looking, and totally incomprehensible at a physical level to the average thinker. I mean...where does it start? whats blowing for gods sakes?
Par example, According to Wikipedia the forces which drive wind are as follows;

Forces which drive wind or affect it are the pressure gradient force, the Coriolis force, buoyancy forces, and friction forces. When a difference in pressure exists between two adjacent air masses, the air tends to flow from the region of high pressure to the region of low pressure. On a rotating planet, flows will be acted upon by the Coriolis force, in regions sufficiently far from the equator and sufficiently high above the surface.

Did that clear it up for any of you? Ok great.

Until recently I took wind for granted, and didnt really think about it all that much. I dont even remember it ever being really windy in seattle. In NY the wind sounds like a racing furious screaming animal. See how hard i tried not to say howling? But the truth is, the muthafucka howls! Theres no other way to put it! It races down our narrow street with tall houses and buildings on each side and throws garbage cans down driveways and into the paths of cars, tears huge tree branches down and hurls them through windshields. Our windows rattle and our blinds blow back even with the windows "closed." Or whole house sways on the foundation every couple months when the ol windster really gets furious. If you heard something like that, you would expect to look outside and see a giant slobbering wolf, destroying everything in its path, but you look out and theres....nothing???? And you are supposed to just go out there?? Where is the enemy??? And you dont get a wind day! There are snow days and flood days but you have to go outside and battle the invisible wolf!

I was on the West Coast most of January. It was really nice to be out of here for a while, even if just in Seattle and LA. Ben and I spent New Years in seattle, had enchiladas and sangria with the Steels et al, by midnight we were falling asleep watching fireworks on the needle. It was very relaxing and mellow with no stupid best night of your life pressure. We also got to be at moms house for the New Years Day party which was very fun. I havent been there for it for years and I love it. Ben got to meet all my moms friends most of whom have known me since I was born or shortly after. We ate chinese food and watched spinal tap with court, we went to the dahlia with becca and eric, who came out in the SNOW, (which while nowhere near as scary as wind really puts the fear of god into seattleites.) It was a lovely trip. Then I went to LA, spent a nice week with the family. AS soon as I get into LAX, I always go to the rental car place, rent my car for the week, and head to Malibu. This time I rented from Supercheapcarrental.com which is AMAZING. $200 dollars for a week incl insurance. A dream come true. I headed up to Malibu, which is a beautiful drive, to see Nana. We visited and bummed around the house. The Santa Ana WINDS were blowing so there were huge palm fronds blowing off the trees and laying like blown out steel belt radials in the streets. Nana informed me that they can really lay you out if they hit you the wrong way. Common sense, but nice to have the confirmation. We stayed inside til dinner, then we made our way to the Sage room which is the PCH equivalent of two blocks from her "mobile home." At the first stop sign, I stopped, eyed a cardboard box blowing in the WIND and waited for it to lay on the ground. WHen it was flat as a pancake and still I pulled forward. It waited for me to pull through the intersection, then the WIND raised it up and slammed it with brute force into the windsheild directly in front of Nana making a large fist shaped circular crack and depression in the glass. So much for supercheapcarrental. We headed on to dinner, which was lovely and uneventful, unless seeing Julia Roberts waiting for a table is considered an event. Its all in your perspective.

Our debaucherous night over, we went home to Fritz and talked and ate ice cream until ten when we couldnt think of any better thing to do than go to bed.
At 8, we got up and read the paper, ate grapefruit, talked about rising crime and the failed economy, gave nana a haircut, and went to have lunch before I headed down to LA proper. We went to Geoffreys which is a classic Malibu hang out. It has a parkinglot which is the size of my apartment and telegraph steep with several million dollars of cars parked in it, I was releived to hand the valet the keys to the sentra.
They sat us in the outside area which was closed off due to the WIND. The only other people out there was an elderly couple at the table next to us. SHe looked much younger than him at a distance but had invested far more in plastics so there was really no telling. Half way through lunch he starts yelling loudly and in a strange monotone way "NO NONONON NO!" and other things from which I understood that she hadnt brought the medicines that she should ALWAYS have on her. I turned around and the man was the color of white clay. I swear to you I thought he was going to die right there. THe waitstaff started rushing around, trying to elevate his feet and such things, he was staring out over the deck to the sea looking very last breath-ish.
I turned back around to see that Nana was looking a little blue herself and seemed to be choking! I asked several times if she was really choking and she nodded vehemently (didnt use the international sign for choking which is posted in every restaurant, come on Nana, make it easy on me!)Not knowing what else to do, as the Paramedics rushed in with oxygen and a stretcher for the gentleman on table 2 I got up and summoned all that I learned in that weird beauty school first aid class and gave Nana the heimlich. I did. I dont know if that dislodged the lobster, but it did dislodge. THank god They wheeled the man out and we finished our lunch, I did anyway, I think Nana was a little too nervous to give it another try. Cant blame her, and I may never eat lobster again. Didnt really love it in the first place...

Anyway, that was the bulk of the LA excitement. Had a good time with everyone, a lovely visit with bubba, and lots of QT with Joanna. I left on thurs and worked the weekend at the salon, then flew back to LA on Sunday night for a macys shoot through friday. That was a bit crazeball, but it was worth doing, thanks to Mollie lending me her car, it was easy and cost effective way to spend a little extra time with the fam. Not a LOT mind you since we had 5:30 call times and were working til sundown which is around six. Man, there were a couple really not fun days shooting in the rain with no mobile home on the beach (ever had good hair on the beach when it was raining? No? how about your makeup? how did that look? Messy? was anyone blowing giant bubbles made from dawn dishwashing detergent at you for that hippy bo-ho look? I thought not. ) Brutal. Artistic integrity definitely compromised. But, it passed as everything does. Now Im back, working, going to therapy, trying to "figure myself out." Its good. Not always fun, but good. Im hoping that this process will enable me to make more of myself, take the things I love doing and do them consistently, be a better partner, a better individual and peice of the whole. Allow me to stop laying in bed with a mouth full of jujubes and reading betty and veronica comics for days on end.
You know how it is.