Waxing Practical and Salon Daze

Man, it really kills me when I skip a week. Not only is my memory about a sharp as a butter knife, but procrastination sets in and I can think of about a billion "reasons" why I should wait yet another week, which could concievably derail this blog train entirely, knowing me. So, lets reach back into the annals of last week, shall we? Before its too late...
Wednesday before last was my waxing practical. With all the hairy Middle Eastern and South Asian girls I know, not a one needed to be waxed (mainly because theyre all so freaking neurotic they hardly wait for the hair to grow out before they wax again) so I was forced to ask Mark if he would be my test subject. Hes so accomodating. So we rolled in a little late, cause I knew we would be waiting a long time anyway, thats just the way it goes, we only have five waxing beds so someone would have to wait. I walked back with him into the waxing and facial room and it was like walking into some 1950's girls dorm room, all girls, so loud. Everyone was in different stages of partial nudity and whipped their heads up to look at us/him when we walked in. I thought it best to wait. There's a lot of estrogen in there he said to me as we walked back to the breakroom. I couldnt argue with that! It was cool that we waited cause we were the only ones in there so it was a more private and less embarrasing experience. Exept that he insisted that i wax all the way up almost to the tops of his thighs, he said he didnt want to be left with "hairshorts." Ms V kep teasing us about keeping it professional "No hank panky, theres a lot of leg exposed in there!" Things like that. Rather embarrasing. But, I did an alright job, he kept pointing out hairs I missed. I thought he wasnt very hairy but I guess any guy has considerably more hair that most women. It was quite a job. He kept making me laugh, striking these hilarious legs-stretched-out-coy-look-over-the-shoulder-girlie-pinup poses while I was doing the sides of his legs, then he fell asleep. High pain tolerance I guess. The underarms were the worst. I used the beige wax instead of the green, which is supposed to be for sensitive areas like pits and brows but his hair was so coarse I dont think it would have come out with the green wax. The beige one uses strips while the green one you let dry and pull off by itself. I know it just killed. It looked good, I have to say, very silky. He surveyed the sticky smooth landscape of his legs and his newly hairless pits. "I look Gay," "No you dont, its hot!" "Nah, its gay." "Not really, you look more like...Venus Williams." :)
The rest of the week was cool, I dont really remember anything of note, Oh! I finally got fingerwaves down! I can see at long last how they wrap around the head, how each row connects to the next. I practiced it like five times and finally it clicked. What else...I gave Cindy, a girl from my dance class, a haircut that is really cute, took off a lot of length and it frames her face well. Frannie came in for me to really wash her locks, whew! Needed. Even clean locks can hold a LOT of product buildup. I was twisting them before I did her crown updo and basically the whole school was standing around watching (to Franchesska's chagrin) nobody knew how to maintain locks and most people, including all the black women had ever touched them before. But they can do presses and relaxers in their sleep. The next day Mahroo came in for foil highlights and a deep condition, she has enough hair for ten people and it took me forever. It was my first real foil, and I think it came out alright. I should have done more and a chunkier weave so that it would show up more, but I didnt get a chance to see the end result because Ms Michelle had booked Kaila for a haircut with me at one and not scheduled Mahroo's deep condition so I was rushed as hell and didnt have time to style her. LAME. I hate not finishing things. It was the be all and end all to cut Kaila's hair. I have been capping on her butt lenghth braids for about two years, it just looked terrible; breaking off and thin at the ends, super flat, and just excessive. It aged her. I cut off about a foot, she still has long hair, and did just some long simple layers. She looks about 100% better and certainly 10 years younger. It was SO satisfying. This week is fresher in the memory, It was crazy, I was totally booked! Not to toot my own horn, but I have more clients come to see me than anyone else. Its great because theyre really varied styles and I get a lot of practice, but Im not getting paid and I am DEFINITELY still learning so it sucks to have to rush through things and have to keep people waiting. But, its infinintly better than standing around, working on the wigheads, or doing old lady rollersets all day. My thursday was just rediculous. Angie came in for a haircut at nine thirty, I gave her a uniform layer cut that she was really nervous about but looked really good, her hair is so fine that with all the layers it gives her a lot more volume and looks much fuller, its grown on her now and she likes it but I was scared that she would hate it because I know its not exactly what she thought it would be. Then at 10:30 Angela from dance class came in for two strand twists which I booked furtively when I was working the front desk because I know we arent allowed to do natural styles. They say its because they dont teach them at the school, which of course they should. I dont care, its a hairstyle and its fair game. Again, everyone was gathered around watching. Its a crying shame, and really infuriates me. Its like having untreated, curly hair isnt a option at all. I will be making a scene until they let me see lock maintenance clients and do natural styles on the floor, mark my words. bwhahah! bwahahah! Evil natural stylist laugh. Ok, after Angela I had a one o clock with Trina Torkleson, the Asst General Manager at the Village. I think it is so bomb that she came and saw me. She is a very cute woman whose hair was etrenched in the 80's. Long, ash blonde and puffy with lots of highlights. I Took off a little length, cut more layers, made her bangs a little shorter and (this is the key) flat ironed it with some glossing spray. Ta Da. Millenium Trina. She looked great, and I think she really liked it. It was like a makeover, the difference it made to get the wave out of her hair. She looked very stylish. After Trina, Angie's sister Amy came in for a cut. SHe has the same fine hair as Angie but thicker. I just cut some fringe and did a little graduated layering to show off her natural curl without inducing frizz with too much choppyness. It was a helluva day, I guess that is somewhat like what working in a real salon will be like. We learned facials this week on our theory day, and we each get to get one from Ms V which I am really looking forward to. Amber got hers on Wed and we all got to see her with no makeup on, it took Ms V about 10 full minutes to get all her mascara off, she never washes her face she says so there were layers upon layers of black mascara on her lashes. She looked innocent and young with out all of it. Like someones' teenage daughter...not someone you'd see mudsharking at a club. Friday I did a clipper cut on a chinese guy who works in the SCCC accounting department and then did Colette's color, she takes her dark level 4 hair (like mine) to a level 7 light blonde with level 12 ash blonde and 40 vol developer. It really works and it was great practice for me, I feel really insecure in my color knowledge. She is amazingly neurotic about who touches her hair, amazingly, and has always said that she will never let anyone in the school do anything permanant to her hair so I felt honored that she would ask me to do it. Apparantly her usual stylist has had a relapse...and I looked like a better option than a Meth influenced touch up.
The only person in the school that I have never really gotten along with is this white girl named dawn, weve never before had an altercation and I have always made extra effort to smile and greet her but despite efforts, I have felt an icy wind from her since the beginning. I think she's a little jealous since before I got there she had a corner on the older stylish white girl market. Well there's room for two, but if she wants her panties in a bunch about it, far be it for me. Anyway, apparantly she has just been bottling up all these annoying and inconsiderate things that I have done over the past months so when I asked a question to the person working in dispensary when she had been standing in line, she just couldnt take it any more. She muttered something under her breath and I jokingly said something like arent we salty, which triggered a fourth grade style explosion which went something like this:"No! Youre salty, and you really need to be more considerate!" "Gee dawn, I wasnt aware that I have been inconsiderate, what can I do differently?" "Well you dont think about anyone but yourself! (harsh words for someone who has never spoken to me and isn't inside my head) youve cut in line in front of me before, and the other day in the lunch room when Gabe said "You need to eat!' (she is REALLY skinny) you laughed and it wasnt funny! Its not funny at all, its very rude!" I told her that I am really sorry she feels that way and that I had no idea that that had hurt her feelings, but thank you for bringing that to my attention, I will certainly try to be more conscientious. She didnt really want to talk it out though, she just wanted to be mad, stomp around, and hold a silent grudge, so I wont stand in her way. I stood next to her at the front desk on friday, waiting to check in a client I hadnt noticed that it was her until she said loudly EXCUSE ME and went to wait in another area! Hilarious. Its too bad, that people let things get so big and cant say anything about it until it consumes them. It must make life so exhausting to take everything personally and not be able to release even the smallest things from your mind. That about wraps it up...Thanks for bearing with me. My father bought be a laptop on Ebay last week for a screamin' deal (WOW! Thanks dad! My parents' generosity never ceases to amaze me) so as soon as I can get it outfitted with a wireless setup I will be able to post far more freely. Ive had some requests for the promised blackuum discussion so thats in the hopper for some at home writing. Until we meet again... VOTE FOR KERRY, GOOD LORD VOTE FOR KERRY!

Heimlich Dummy and the Lisping First Aid Lady

As dedicated followers may recall, I missed a few weeks the first quarter. During that time, I missed the mandatory, full day first aid class. No one in my class said anything to me about it really, and Re'na just gave me the handouts and told me it was boring. She probably slept through it...So, since all cosmetologists have to have their first aid card, I had to go through the little training with the new first quarter students. Michelle, mom's friend, remember? came in for a haircut at nine thirty so I did her hair, very cute, and came in the first aid class a little late. When I came in the energy in the room was really hectic. I hadnt really gotten a feel for what was going on but a couple of the kids in the whole class seemed to be really frustrated and a couple girls were heckling the teacher about some workplace safety minutia. I sat down and the girl next to me whispered "save yourself." I listened to this poor woman try to argue with the students...it was BIZARRE! The teacher, Sue, is a heavy set woman with curly grey hair, huge pendoulous breasts and glasses. She has self proclaimed hypoglycemia which she calls low blood sugar (she spent several minutes expounding on and sucking down a soy protein and fresh fruit shake,) and by the sound of it has been teaching first aid since the human body was invented. She has a pronounced lisp due to a missing righ bicuspid and first molar, which made words like "safety," "situation," "simple,"and "certainly" very hard not to laugh at. Ethpecially conthidering their extheththive uthe. She is TOTALLY obsessed with injury and illness and, i think manifests such things in the people around her just by her unlimited preparedness. She has a personal story for every imaginable accident, and is pretty much unwilling to take questions as they interfere with her storytelling. She happened to mention that she has a hospital bed in her minivan. Anyway, this new class had absolutely no compassion for this woman whatsoever, couldnt see the tremendous humour in her and were super annyoyed and super bratty. Their class has some really strange individuals. There is a large group of impatient black girls who talk at a loud volume all the time. Theyre all really nice and VERY funny but I can see how having to ask the class to be quiet every seven seconds could get old quickly. There is a white girl who I call Paris Hilton because she looks just like her and dresses like a hollywood slutlet. She came in late with a pound of pink lipgloss sliding off her always parted, grossly froggy lips and sat in the back alternately nodding off and picking her face. Drugs do such attractive things to people. The kids were excused from dress code for the day, so the only boy in the class (who volunteered during the discussion on choking that he heard Mama Cass died giving head) wore obscenely tight white jeans and and a Cuff tee shirt. He is flamingly gay, has a grown out don johnson-y silver and black do with matching stubble, is very old school, gives probing, queeny eye contact and according to the girl next to me who is an ex sccc drug and alchohol counsellor, has been clean(ie off intravenous methamphetamines) for one (1) month. He always eats unbelievably rapidly and standing up in the breakroom. One large black woman became the teachers pet by divulging that she had a massive coronary and simultaneous stroke last year. She is 24 years old and has six kids under six years old. Moving on.
Speaking of teachers pet, Sue took a real shine to me. I think she looked out into all of our faces and saw that I was actually listening and not thinking about how much I hated her, which is what all the other students seemed to be doing. She remembered my name, called on me frequently (thank god my name wasnt tharah or conthtanth) and caught my eyes and rolled hers as if to say, "god these kids dont know anything about emergency procedures, good thing you and I are here," like I would calmly begin abdominal thrusts if someone choked and turned blue. Oh, and when we were all demo-ing the heimlich manuver, she used me as a model. I had to collapse into her arms with her foot/knee btween my legs and have her fist in my diaphragm. She said (to point out how that position is more stable than standing straight up) "See, now I am in control." Always the joker, I said "you sure are!" At which point she laughed gruffly, whispered "that'll be the day" in my ear and smacked me on the ass. A moment to remember. After that the rest of the day was a blur...I know I revived a creepy mannikin whose chest rose with my two second rescue breaths, i know I watched endless workplace emergency scenario videos. I know I don't have to do it again and I know Im grateful for my ever dwindling, little, weird class.
Wed we did more waxing, Ms Belle was in the hospital with chest pains and possible bronchitis(what did I tell you about her need for new diet and excercise!!?@?) so we had ms V. I waxed Bintu's legs. Tuesday I pressed that nice Ethiopian girl's hair again, it took me half the time. I was psyched, and glad that she had come back and asked for me. She is gonna come in and get two strand twists in a couple weeks. After I did her hair last time, she tried to cut bangs on herself because she liked my hairstyle. WHat a nut. I told her I dont take the marcel irons to my hair because hers looks cute with a curl! Now she's constantly fighting the short super curly front of her hair. The grass is always greener! Then I did a manicure on a really sweet Ethiopian lady, a friend of Ms V's who imports all the spices and things for all the ethio restraunts and stores in seattle. She doesnt have any kids and instead founded an orphanage for homeless children in Ethiopia. It was a habesha day! Friday I did a shampoo rollerset on a very nice elderly black woman who invited me to her pentecostal church on 26th and pike. Ill probably go. After ramadan is over ;).
Then I did a relaxer touch up and decided when Im on my own, Im not doing relaxers. Im just not. I hate the process, I hate the concept and Im not even that hot on the final result. This woman's hair hardly even relaxed and the shit was on there for 40 some mins. I made her look cute with a cut and flatiron but the minute it gets wet, itll revert. Any longer and I would have risked breaking off her hair at the point where the new growth meets the previously relaxed hair. Its just not for me. The week was alright, it felt like a lot of time wasted, I did manage to be on time every day, which was good. Im getting a little more sleep and getting back to business. I just hate how inefficient everything is there. If this were my last week to live, I would be really upset with myself.
Im hungry, I'm gonna go make a salad. Next week...Waxing practicals! Mark, youre an angel!

Fall, Drums, and the Dark Side of a Plum Tree.

I feel like a significant portion of my lifetime has passed since I last wrote. School has been in session and Ive been there most of the time but my mind has been elswhere. The joy of eating plums off the tree has become a faint memory as my yard has been turned into a gory, rotting-plum battle zone. Before you even open the gate the smell of fermented fruit is pervasive, it smells like a distillery, like I've crockpots of moonshine aging behind the house.You step on soft squishy plums with everystep and fruit flies rise in a cloud. JoAnn and Claudia tried to rake up most of them and put them in the yard waste container but the having them all crushed together made the smell more intense and the flies just obscene. Im not sure Ill be as excited about plum season next year. I know my writing is a little fruit heavy, but I guess I never knew how much effect proximity to fruit bearing trees can have on a person. The final Som La Bi Joli dance conference was this last weekend. We had some trimphant and historical moments, the classes were beautiful, we had a bougarabou class, a kutiro class, Lamba, Sunnu, and of course Sabar. I was so proud of us and so happy to see all these amazing musicians in little Seattle. I hope the pictures came out well because the conference descended into petty, triflin', intercultural misunderstanding and drama the likes of which I have never been a part of before. Whether or not we will all ever dance together again remains to be seen. Really enjoy beautiful and satisfying moments as they come, because you never know whats coming next. Im sad, exhausted and a little scared, maybe worried is a better word. I hate awkwardness, I hate backbiting and duplicity, it makes me scared to say anything. The things that people said to each other this week can never be taken back, and I know underneath it all all the mistrust and self protection everyone loves each other so much. If they didnt, these kinds of feelings wouldnt be at stake. I know I havent introduced anyone from this part of my life in this blog, and i dont have the strength to do it now but if you think the beauty school kids are characters! GOod lord. I hape we all remember the good parts and I hope time mellows the unkind words that were said. Maybe Ill write it out sometime. It would be a good read! Its just so base and trivial its embarrasing. We did go see Salam Diallo and Alioune Mbaye Nder et le Setsima at Juan O reilly's (What a stupid name!) last night. It was an awesome show, Salam Diallo was wearing a giant chartreuse eyelet lace (in Pakistan that kind of fabric is called chicken. Imagine my suprise when I read all the signs in the boutiques advertising chicken suits...) bubu and is so raunchy and so fabulous. I took a little solo, all the senegalese girls and me and fran were in a circle dancing and clowning. It was fun. Salam came out in the audience after and told me I danced well. That was cool :). Nice for an american honky, but nice all the same!! School is cool, there are a bunch of new first quarter students which is nice. Firstly just to see some new faces and also to be able to see how far weve come. Im so glad to not be studying nail diseases! Although, this quarter's focus is skin. I am not a squeamish girl, i pick up spiders with my hands, wipe kids' butts and fearlessly bandage bleeding wounds. Pus though? I cant take it. Blemishes, blackheads (comodones, darling), whiteheads (milia, my dear) all of it makes my stomach churn and my skin come up in bumps to even type out the words. We had to look at everyones' skin under the magnifier... i couldnt even do it. I may need hypnosis to get through this quarter. What will I do when I have to do a facial on someone with (gulp) acne?? Zoinks. We did waxing last week, it was cool, failrly easy. I got a free leg wax, love that. Melashu is a natural, she has an eye for detail and a masochistic streak that makes her an excellent waxer. Its funny (funny dark not funny haha), after you wax and pull off hundreds of hairs at once the part that hurts the most is tweezing the stragglers. Amber and Jamaa are no longer speaking and no longer living together. I guess Amber was kickin it to some brother that Jamaa was trying to talk to. And she lied about it and got caught. Wack. I wouldnt talk to her either. Female doing other females dirty is so unflattering. Why would you put yourself and your relationships in jeopardy like that over someone so trivial? Especially if you are living with the person! I cut Amber's hair on Thursday. She had shoulder length layers and I gave her a sharp smooth inverted bob. Those kinds of haircuts are hard because you can see every mistake. It looked pretty good though for my first time. The angle was good I just need to work on my technique and not raise my elevation too high. We have a new teacher named Ms Sabrina who seems pretty nice, she's an African american woman who owned her own Salon in Tacoma until a car accident left her unable to work long enough hours to make ends meet owning her own business. She taught me some good techniques for finger position. I got my first referral from Angie who sent me a customer of hers from Animals. She was really nice and had curly hair which was cool. I need curly haircut practice. I relaxed my "black" wighead's hair on wednesday and damn near melted it off. I guess those nasty things have had so many chemical treatments already you can hardly leave a perm on them long enough to get through all their hair. Feh. I played hookey on Friday and lay in bed listing to the rain until 12. Mark took me out to some seriously wack seattle twisted "Carribean" food for dinner and we laughed about the unripe plantains and how they could put asparagus in the roti. It was fun. I will be trying to make the best of the rain but... expect some kvetching. Ill keep it to a minimum. I got two grants in the mail for Arts International NY, trying to get some dance travel paid for, wish me luck. Hopefully this week I can get my house cleaned up after the Senegalese houseguest windstorm and get back into my routine with school. I have to refocus. Oh, get this, even though I have 3.98 Average, Im on academic probation for my attendance. Good lord, I know why there are so many beauty school dropouts, I havent missed that much time. Im never late and I think I missed four days last quarter. What if I get kicked out of Cosmetology school??? This entry is so scattered. More sleep= more organized thought process. Next week, I promise.