Nina!

If you want to get waxed in New York, you can go see Nina at Randee Elaine salon in the west village. Nina is an old redheaded russian lady, potentially trained in torture by KGB special forces, who now uses her skills for hair removal. Because my entire family reads this thing, i will keep this short and sweet but it was so hysterical, somewhat like the colonic, i just feel like id be shirking my duties to leave it out completely. I dont know that i can call it non consensual since I entered the room willingly and paid her at the end but ill tell you that what happened between those two times was DEFINITELY not within my control. You lay down on the butcher paper on this old brown naugahyde bed. There is a bare lightbulb right above your head (certainly a trick held over from the KGB days!) She does not respond to comments or questions, simply applys (smolderingly hot!!!) wax and removes it at such lightning speed that the linin strips sing under her hands. I was unsure just how ahem, thorough? a wax it was that i wanted, but it didnt turn out to matter what I wanted! It was excruciataing and HYSTERICAL. I was laughing absolutely hysterically, and she remained completely stoic, as if my lower half were floating on the table, disembodied from the laughing half. She muttered consistantly to herself in russian as she examined me more intimately than maybe anyone ever has and despite my cries of protest, demands that she tell me what she was saying in russian and requsts for even a short break, epilated me en toto.
Thats all the detail we need here, sufficed to say, Nina is a NY freak landmark and if you are fearless (which I may now be) or exessively hirsuite, you know where to go. They also offer every service known to man, from pedicures, to cellulite removal to ear candling. Get to Randee Elaine! Your body has needs that you dont even know about yet!