Breathing Smoke and Future Figs

So, hopefully the third time will indeed be the charm. I wrote a whole expose on the wackness of time's rapid passage while Mahdis was here, and her laptop ate it. That makes three times Ive sworn I would write in word first and then transfer it. Onward and upward as I always say. Everyone knows time goes fast anyway, who needs to hear me go on about it, you could be out doing something instead of reading me lament how little time we have to go out and do something. That's the author's version of sour grapes. It was really nice to spend time with Mahdis and her fam. It gave me the inspiration to write about how quickly and surreptitiously time passes, I had that tight chest feeling that you get when you love someone or some moment so much that it makes you think about how soon it will be over, or different or new. I love changes, I do, but occasionally I wish I could tap out and freeze time like Sabrina the Teenage witch...just walk around and stare at how ever everything was at that exact second. Memorize it, or enjoy it more, or longer. Something. I know I have to start coming to terms with us as freestanding adults, so that someday in the far future I can imagine us losing our parents but it makes me feel like my heart is going to explode. I love my friends' families so dearly that it will be like losing my parents over and over again. The other night I went to play candyland with my neice Parker who turned five this August. After she went to bed, I looked at the photos of her grandmother, Hardy, Carrie and Lindsey's mom who in her funky, non parental way, helped make all of us who we are now, holding her as an infant before she got sick. It was three years ago that she died and I cried like it was yesterday. I love death dearly for being part of this beautiful, hilarious cycle, and I turn my own over in my head like a crystal. But it isnt the kind of time freeze that I want for the people I love. I want to freeze when they are here, not when theyre not. Raspberry to me! Thbbtht. Ive got no choice. Again, onward and upward. Maybe I need to invest in a couple Ram Dass books on tape...
Anyway, I just read over some older entires and realized there are a few key updates that I never posted. FIrst of all, the figs that I saw that day, the tiny sour ones? Apparantly, those are the figs of the future! The tree grows two years worth of fruit and only half ripens, the other half the next year. Stellar. I cant beleive they just stay on there all winter like that. God is good all the time, all the time God is good. Secondly Ruby "found out" that Nathan has been with his braider friend all this time. I could have a heart attack and die from not suprise. She and the other white girl did the ol' meet up and suprise number (which, dear reader, can really backfire on you, let me tell it...thats a story for another day...)and she was just broken hearted. Apparantly nathan told the other girl he didnt want to see her anymore when Ruby was there, but Jamaa said his hair is still crisp all the time so you do the math. Long story short the poor sucker hasnt leave him. Blinded. When she told me about it, and looked at me like can you beleive he would do something like that? I told her she already knew, and whatever grief she felt was the sadness you feel when you deceive yourself. She really couldnt argue with me. All people know all things, there are very few times, at least in my experience, where what materializes is a real suprise. If youre truly paying attention, the eventuality of most situations is laid plain from the beginning. Ok. So, I spent Tuesday and Friday at Danyale LaShawn salon. It was really great. I am learning a tremendous amount, from watching and jsut from being in the mix. Its very laid back, everyone handles their business in their way and is concious of the fact that they got into this biz because they didnt want someone breathing down their neck about where when and how. They are all amazingly accomplished stylists and thats what they get paid for. Much different from the uptight, client kowtow type situation at most upscale white salons. Its refreshing as hell. Danyale let me do her hair on friday. She took her braids out and had this bomb curly afro going. IT looked AMAZINGLY good, but one night on it and it would have been flat and crunched. I really wanted to practice doing twists with a comb so she let me wash her hair and twist it. I was nervous as I dont know what, and the bottom ones SUCKED. It took me a couple of rows to get the hand coordination down. I got a lot better the longer I did it. I had to leave her with a lil frohawk cause she had to work on a client but I think the next time I do it, especially if the person has shorter hair, Ill feel a lot more confident. I felt sick to my stomach for hours after leaving on friday. I think it was from breathing in all the oil smoke from the flatirons in that small space. I went to the gym in hopes that some serious breathing would help me work it out, not so much. Thought I was gonna hurl on 23rd and union. I wouldnt be the first, that's for damn sure. Ill be there two days next week too and then school starts again. The injustice. I've hardly begun to relax.

So far, nothing.

So far, nothing.
09.11.04 01:46 pm
I haven't done crap since school let out!! Well, I worked that one early-ass Jewish wedding. The bride (as is customary, apparantly) hadn't eaten in 24 hours and hadn't seen her husband to be in a week. Sounds like some good ways to soothe the bridal jitters... They were classic neurotic types. Half the family is aussie and the other half, the groom's half, is NYC Jews relocated to Chi-town. It was pretty much archetypal...replete with "oh my goad, my son is getting married, I think I'm going to pass out! I feel weak, do I look pale? Is everyone ready? Where is my speech? I'm going to pass out. Everyone looks amazing, they're so elegant, I'm such a schlub." and " Did you want your hair like that, it looks like a tornado over here, is this what you asked for really?" I was glad it was me doing it because I can think of many stylists who either would have taken real offense and gotten pissed or super flustered and cried. I could see it was just normal Semitic family interaction. The daughter was so chronically annoyed with her mother and all the shrill hypercritical banter that she's irritated before a full sentence is out of the woman's mouth. I felt for both of them. They were actually a really nice family though and even though no hairdo can disguise that kind of rhinostrosity, they looked pretty darn good when all was said and done. They all had very specific way that they just KNEW their hair looked the best. I saw that coming days prior, when I saw the aforementioned excel spreadsheet and was emotionally prepared. Why do elderly women with no hair always feel they need maximum volume? Its nearly impossible! Finishing touches for grooms mom? A pearl yarmulke. I pinned it on. Don't ask.
Glynne and I got along great and I did better, she said, than the first time so I felt good about that. I didn't interview anyone in Spokane, so youll have to hold breath on that one...I cut my sister's bangs...she was a royal pain in the ass; "They feel short..are they short? Did you peice them through or are they straight across?" Good practice, good practice, all in a day's work. I gave my darling friend Mark a fade as per request of the master chief on his Coast Guard icebreaker (to each their own!)He hates having his hair cut. He sat so still it was amazing. He has super tight curls and had been sporting an adorable natural, so I imagine he was as concerned about my dipping a hole in it as I was. He hardly breathed. It looked cute though, I left the edges round. I made business cards at my dad's house in Spokane, it was fun and they came out pretty good for some homemade crafts. Countenance Style Network is taking its first baby steps towards reality! Thats about it..I start interning at the new Salon on Wednesday. Exciting. Love and Knishes, V

One third over!

First of all, I missed the second to last week of the quarter. I was in Santa Cruz at dance camp :). It was so relaxing, so hot and so much fun. Nothing like four days of only having to get up to go to dance and kick it with fabulous people I never get to see, to knit my frazzled nerves and reset my patience. Which, as anyone who talked to me before I left knows, was sorely in need of resetting. So, unfortunately, I missed Ms. V's entire section on designer curls (Jheri Curls for those of us who remember their heydey.) Its ok though because really all a designer curl is is a relaxer, thio, no lye, followed by a weaker solution thio perm to restructure the newly straightened hair into a slower speed curl pattern. All that processesing tends to make the curls a touch frizzy, hence the popularity of the wet look. That drippy shiny curl, immortalized in my mind by Eddie Murphy's love intrest's ex boyfriend in coming to America. You know, how he gets up and leaves that gross wet spot wherever he was sitting? No one really gets them these days so Im sure Ill have time to catch up before Im thrown into the desiger curl ring. We dont usually have class on monday, in fact im usually at work. I came to work at 8 got all settled in and the other receptionist showed up. I still had time to get coffee though, so the day was salvageable. On monday we permed our wigheads. GOod lord that perm solution smells indescribably bad. It has got to be toxic beynd belief. Gabe said he was getting sores in his mouth from breathing it in. Scary! Mine looked pretty good. I think my tension was a little off beacause the curls started a little off the scalp but I diffused them and put some glow and grow in so theyed be peicey instead of fluffy and it actually looked alright. On Tuesday we took our written exam. 100 questions. I got up to ask Ms kendra a clarifying question (some of the questions are so poorly written its all I can do to hazard a guess) and she was like "Youre already that far along?" I think over the years she has actually convinced herself that these tests are challenging. Get a grip!!!!! I swear Im not being a stuckup smarty pants, here, let me illustrate my point with an actual question taken from our perming exam.

46. What size curls do small curl rods produce?
a. large b. medium c. small d. none of the above

Do you get my drift? PEOPLE WERE BARELY PASSING!!! I am not trying to be harsh, I am genuinely concerned about the state of peoples performance and comfort with the concept of education and the practice thereof. I did not study, not at all, and I got two questions wrong out of 100. People I talk to on a daily basis, who drive cars, use phones and computers, go grocery shopping, use stoves and heated styling implements, pay bills, and are generally high functioning people are unable to perform well on the simplests of tests. The pressure was apparantly so overwhelming that Ms Denise had to lead us through a guided breathing excercise before the exam. ITs all well and good to chalk it up to testing anxiety but there are going to be times when you just have to prove what you know that shouldnt immediately result in you NOT KNOWING ANYTHING. I dont have any solution. I tried to help people study, I showed them how to do process of elimination when you dont quite know the answer. Help me Kaplan test prep, you're our only hope!
On Wed we took our practical exams. That was a lot harder and cooler. They went in this order with points awarded based on Sanitation, Preparation, Partings, and Execution of Service.

1. Sectioning for a full foil/partial foil(10 mins)
2. Sectioning for a 9 block perm wrap (10 Mins)
3. Wrap a full head in 9 bock perm form (60 Mins)
4.Color applications (10 Min ea)
Virgin going lighter Virgin going darker Retouch
5. Foil packet placement, medium weave 1/4 inch subsections (30 mins)

It took all day. We had to be absolutely quiet and work quickly. Every time I looked around everyone elses looked way better than mine, so I stopped looking around. I was sure I would have to retake something, my partings looked sloppy and I forgot to outline my virgin going darker section, but I did pretty well. My overall practical grade for the quarter was 3.4, thats pretty good. Mazeltov.
Thursday was student services day and retakes for anyone who needed to retake part of the practicals. I decided it would be the perfect day to get a perm. I should have known there wwas no such day. Ms Kendra had said she would do it a month ago and had never gotten around to it. Not a poodle perm mind you, naysayers, but a "10 for texture," All my hair sectioned out on 10 or so big rollers to add a volume and wave. Well Ms Kendra passed me off on LaShannna who failed her perm test, has nails like SWV and admittedly hates perming. I dont know exactly why, there were a few little things she could have done differently (use smaller rods, wrap more tightly, rinse the neutralizer before dropping the rods) but for whatever reason, the perm didnt take at all. My hair is exactly the same exept it smells like sour ass. Really it does, you're not supposed to wash it for 72 hours after, but FUCK THAT NOISE!! You think I was layin my head on my pillow like that, you can think again. It didnt take anyway, so I figured why wait to wash it? The smell is fading but its kind of stuck in my nose. A word to the wise and limp of tress: leave well enough alone, it might be flat but at least it doesn't reek.
Friday we cleaned the whole school, had grade advising, and ate a potluck lunch (pizza, fried chicken, banana pudding...I admit, I ate some banana pudding and it was good. Nilla wafer cuisine!)Then we listened to Ms Kendra read "Oh! The places you'll go," the Dr Seuss book which she has pledged to read to us every quarter since there is always something to be learned from it no matter what stage youre at. No comment necessary on that one. We got out at 3:30, Melashu and I packed all our stuff into her explorer and sped out of there. She dropped me off at my car, I went home, got in bed and didnt wake up until nine thirty. I worked a wedding at the Fairmont Olympic (which used to be the four seasons) on Sat. I was Glynne's assistant, the woman who did my makeup for my headshots. The other assistant was pretty useless so I busted ass. I did pretty much all the updos and hair and Glynne did all the makeup and the bride's hair. They all looked great, could have been a little smoother was her only comment but for my first time and having to do four bridesmaids three maids of honor both mothers and a grandma in five hours, I am pretty pleased with my performance. I am doing another one on Monday that has a 6 am call. WHY GOD WHY? Who gets their hair done at 6 am on their wedding day? I will be sleeping like a baby at that time if I ever tie the knot. Theyre jews of course and from the look of the excel spreadsheet delineating the days events in military time (!), they look pretty observant. Ought to be more fun than a barrel of monkeys. Anyway, I'm sure Ill do better every time I do it and Glynne and I worked well together. She is very direct and straightforward. My fave. Plus she pays me well, I like that part. Im going to spokane next week. Im going to try to interview some Spokane area stylists, get a jump on Easternwashington's up and coming trends... You know me, always keeping an ear to the streets!
Your trusty vocational mole, Vivi.